In Part 1, I said I needed to hear an apology from those who now say they want unity* before I could accept they do want unity, not conformity. I also said I will only be able to hear their apology when they’ve accepted responsibility for what they’ve done. I mean that literally. I won’t be able to physically hear them clearly. And that’s without considering all the processing going on in my brain.
Verbal attacks trigger the stress response in the targeted person. When someone is mobbed, a stress hormone hurricane is set off in them. Silencing people (aka censoring them), having them cancelled (such as having their jobs cancelled) not only traumatizes the individuals directly involved, it also terrorizes those who hear what’s happened.
A danger marker is created in all those targeted, attacked, mobbed, silenced or cancelled. That marker attaches to what happened as well as to the person who attacked them. In addition, a danger marker is created in all the people who hear about the attacks.
When a danger marker is activated in us, our body automatically goes into defense mode, into fight-or-flight-or-freeze. The stress hormones released affect our memory, our ability to recall things, and interfere with our reasoning and decision-making.
To make matters worse, once that danger marker is activated, our hearing changes. Normally, the muscles holding our middle ear structures in place are at a tension that optimizes hearing speech sounds. When risk is detected, that tension relaxes so we can better hear dangerous sounds in the environment and from predators. I won’t hear you very well, but I’ll be able to hear the HVAC system and any car going by.
My not being able to physically hear people and my muddled thinking are the direct result of the danger marker triggering all those stress hormones circulating in my brain and blood, and that automatic hearing change.
To those who are now calling for unity, I would like you to consider that you, too, may have danger markers preventing you from hearing me. And we probably also have different paradigms, different worldviews that cause us to interpret the same event very differently.
We all have a lot of work to do. A lot of getting to know each other. A lot of bridges to build. However, before we can get to the crucial discussions of where we’re at and what to do, the attacks need to be addressed.
Notes
* Those in politics, in the media, in social media and on the internet who have been saying, “It’s time for unity.”
Credits: The danger sign (danger_sign_model_2.pdf) is from AllBusinessTemplates.com
