We are not at the mercy of the Stress Response. Our system is designed for balance, for homeostasis. The Stress Response is designed to help us deal with all the challenges we face. The Relaxation Response is designed to get us back into homeostatic balance.
The counterbalance to the Stress Response is the Relaxation Response, a term coined by Herbert Benson.(1) Dr. Benson describes the Relaxation Response as
an opposite, involuntary response that causes a reduction in the activity of the sympathetic nervous system ….(2)
The great news is that we can trigger the Relaxation Response; we don’t have to wait for time to take care of things or wait for it to kick in on its own. What can you do?
- MEDITATE
There are various kinds of meditation, all based in contemplation. WordHippo defines contemplation as “the act of the mind in considering with attention; continued attention of the mind to a particular subject; meditation; musing; study.”(3)
Dr. Benson wrote The Relaxation Response after studying Transcendental Meditators’ ability to lower their blood pressure. He extracted four components that are necessary to trigger the Relaxation Response: (1) a quiet environment, (2) a mental device to keep the mind from wandering, (3) a passive attitude, and (4) a comfortable position. (4)
- LISTEN TO MUSIC
Musick has Charms to soothe a savage Breast, To soften Rocks or bend a knotted Oak.(5)
A pounding chest, a hard rock, a knotted oak — all descriptions of how stress makes you feel. And music makes you feel better.
Get comfortable, sit in a favourite chair, and listen to your favourite music. Since loud noise is a stressor, avoid loud music and music with a heavy beat. The music should have a relaxing pace — a brass band playing marches is not relaxing. Think classical music. Go for Baroque (Bach, Handel, Purcell). Ambient music. Music that has a calm pace — around 60 beats per minute. If you can, use headphones so that surrounding noises are blocked out.
Add music to your life. Play soothing music in the background at the office to help trigger the relaxation response. Go to a live concert. Let those live soundwaves wash over you. There’s a reason people are drawn to concerts — it feels good.
- TAKE A DEEP BREATH
Breathing is always good. Deep breathing is intention. Get comfortable and breathe from your stomach. Push your stomach out as you breathe in, hold your breath for a few seconds, and then push your stomach in as you breathe out. This is called abdominal breathing. Actually, you are using your diaphragm to fill your lungs and to push the air out. Enhance this by breathing in to the count of 6, hold for 3, and then breathe out to the count of 6. Pause for 2, and then repeat the cycle, increasing the breathing out count each time until the count is in-for-6, hold-for-3, out-for-12.
Another variation is to take a deep breath in (use that diaphragm), hold for 2, and then hiss as you breathe out to the count of 20. Build it up until you can easily hiss to 45 or more.
Again, you will find that after a while you can trigger the Relaxation Response by taking a deep breath or two. Remember that old advice to take a deep breath when you’re upset? It works, especially if you’ve practised. The great thing about taking a deep breath is that you can do this anywhere, any time, and you don’t need any equipment or device.
- SING
Or hum. Sing a favourite song. This combines the benefits of deep breathing and music. The benefits are enhanced if you sing in a group.
- PLAY A WIND INSTRUMENT
Another way to combine the benefits of music and breathing is to play a wind instrument, such as a flute, a tuba, a trumpet, or an harmonica.
- PLAY
The kind of play that triggers the Relaxation Response involves social interaction and behavioural reciprocity. The play doesn’t need to involve a lot of physical activity or be complicated. Think peek-a-boo.
Video games and solitary games don’t trigger the Relaxation Response. The play needs to involve face-to-face time. If you’re on Zoom or FaceTime, make sure there’s face time.
- DANCE
Dance is play with music. It involves physical activity, rhythm and measured breathing. Dancing alone is a form of exercise. However, if you dance with someone or in a group, your body’s ability to trigger the Relaxation Response is greatly enhanced.
- USE CALMING SELF-TALK
One of the counterproductive things we do when we’re stressed is that we focus on what’s bothering us. Next time this happens, listen to what you’re telling yourself. You’re going over — and over — and over what’s happened. As you mentally repeat the event, you are reinforcing the Stress Response.
So, take control and change what you’re saying to yourself. It may sound corny, but it does help to mentally tell yourself, “OK. I can handle this. It won’t be that bad in the end. I can do this. Take a deep breath. Breathe.”
- EXERCISE
Do some physical exercise. Many experts recommend physical exercise to combat stress, because it does help. Physical exercise does not trigger the Relaxation Response, though. It activates the sympathetic nervous system (the same system activated by the Stress Response).
That being said, physical exercise does help. It helps combat stress by raising the level at which the Stress Response is triggered. Exercise increases your ability to handle stress. As an added bonus, it makes you feel good, both while exercising and afterwards. When you get tired, it’s hard to stay tensed up and easier to relax.
You can get physical exercise to trigger the Relaxation Response by turning it into Play or by exercising with a group of people. If you exercise with a group via Zoom or FaceTime, make sure you’re able to look at the other people and get some face-to-face time.
We can reduce the negative effects that stress has on us. The challenge that we face is to remember to trigger the relaxation response. To take that deep breath. To unwind when you get home. You can:
- meditate
- listen to music
- take a deep breath
- sing
- play a wind instrument
- play
- dance
- use calming self-talk
- exercise
Notes:
- Herbert Benson, M.D. with Miriam Z. Klipper, The Relaxation Response (New York: Avon Books, 1975) on amazon.com at https://amzn.to/3s8Se9s
- Ibid., p. 73.
- Found at https://www.wordhippo.com/what-is/the-meaning-of-the-word/contemplation.html on January 6, 2021.
- Op cit. note 1, pp. 159-160.
- William Congreve, The mourning bride, 1697.
